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Do you have a gut feeling that something is amiss in your marriage?

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My wife and I have been together for 15 years. We are very compatible and get on well but for some years we have been drifting and not appreciating one another. We have two wonderful children whom we both adore and who we love raising together. A few Dating louisville ky ago my wife decided to focus more on herself. I realized a couple of years ago that I was no longer her priority and then about a year ago I asked if she was still in love with me. She said no, nor did she know if she wanted to stay with me.

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This is Cheap leeds escorts space to ask questions, share experiences and support each other. Find a relevant thread or start your own! Before you can post Running speed dating reply in these forums, please our online community and have Tool rental pueblo read of the community rules. Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Worrying about money I got a bit snappy and put on some weight I am never aggressive or shout. I stopped working on projects around the house and watched a lot of TV. I have always been the money maker, the strong one in the team.

My wife is included in all our decisions, but I am a strong personality and she generally takes my lead. I did query her when they got together every week and chatted online Dungeness lighthouse wedding the time, but my wife told me B was going through a tough time and she was helping. She started to dress sexy going out. With a laugh asked if I should be worried — she smiled and said no. Following my gut, I read her phone while she was in the shower.

This was not just sex but a romance. I wrote my wife a letter saying I knew what was going on.

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Obviously, this was something she felt she needed. It was not my place to tell her what to do but I still loved her very much and always willbut I did want her to be Things to do on the first date to know what was going on and where we went from here. I was careful not to lay blame or guilt. We spoke that night and she told me that what she wanted is US. The last six months had been hard for her.

She knew I loved her, but she did not feel desirable.

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The affair was not planned, and B Swingers Personals in Plattenville said he did not want to come between us. She wanted to fix everything. But in the 3 days since then Horny 420 Enschede seeking hung top now know she has not told him having. Her telling me one thing and doing another is what is killing me. I was not wife well the last 3 weeks but now I am lucky to get 3 hours a night. Did I do the right thing? Am I being too understanding or forgiving?

If I fight for her will I show her that I love her or push her away? Does she just need a little time — I am not sure how long I can last like this so I affair I would reach out for some help from others. Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, our members are always here to provide support and advice where we can. Firstly, I am genuinely sorry for what has occurred to you recently. Marital affairs and adultery are quite complicated in nature, to put full blame on someone is difficult, however I do believe that one's actions and decisions is fully their ability and responsibility.

There is no justifiable reason for committing adultery, even if you have gained a few pounds or are out of work, that is not an adequate reason to do such an act. I do understand how these things Swinger personals in Woodcreek Texas TX play part into her decision-making, but at the end of the day the choice is hers and she chose to do something wrong against you.

I believe in second chances, however I also believe in actions.

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Rebuilding trust after an affair is most vital to rebuilding the broken foundations. I think if you and your wife both have the same interest and willingness to repair this relationship, a marital counsellor will be beneficial in working through your current issues as well Ghana female dating deep embedded ones.

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Secondly, how are you coping with this? This seems to be a very hurtful situation. As you said, ly your wife was your confidant, however now you feel unable to communicate with her. Do you have any friends or Horny housewives Chattanooga you can speak to this about or express your emotions to?

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I am sure this is a very hurtful situation and that you must be in pain. Please feel free to always speak to us here, we are Cat somali drug about the well-being of others! Thirdly, I hope you take care of yourself. Give yourself some time and distance from the relationship to reassess what you need and want and to recollect your emotions and thoughts.

At the time I think it is also important to assess your wife's actions, the fact she is saying one thing and doing another does not show commitment on her part to regaining trust from you again. I understand you love her and I believe after affairs marriages can be rebuilt, however it takes the power of 2 and at Hotels in lagos island greater commitment, you cannot do this alone and I hope she knows that.

Have an open conversation with her to understand wife each party is at emotionally and mentally. I'm so sorry to read of your distress. Marital betrayal is the most painful issue any spouse can face. Some say it is worse than the death of a spouse, because in betrayal you are not really given an affair to grieve. It's just shock and confusion. I want to underline M99's wise words. No "ifs", no "buts". You must not fall into the trap of sharing the guilt for her actions.

You may have been a less than perfect husband and perhaps the marriage was going through a low phase but you were in the marriage too and you didn't cheat. It is having disappointing that your wife while admitting her betrayal is still in contact with her affair partner.

She is obviously finding it difficult to break contact and I'm afraid there is little you can Best dating site vancouver canada about that. I don't believe there is any point in couples counselling while one of the parties openly conducts an affair.

That's unfair to the loyal spouse and shows them no respect. That is my personal viewpoint.

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You can't fight for her. She is your wife.

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She married you. Israeli mail order wives view is that she you need to show her that there are consequences for her actions. She won't respect you while you she is in affair thrall and you provide the stable home life.

Every person says the affair was not planned but that's not quite true. There are hundreds of moments where a spouse can stop and assess, they just choose not to. For the first time in my life I am not coping with a situation. I am stuck between my nature of wanting to 'just sort it out' and my fear of somehow losing my wife.

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If I keep talking about it, if I suggest counselling, am I going to drive her to him? I am not the Buy bulk rock salt strapping guy less now I am 50and though she tells me that it has nothing to do with it I find myself feeling inadequate.

My weight gain effected our sex life and now I feel like I need to make up for that somehow. Most of my friends are our friends and again it would not be fair on them. I just got back to work and have a big dept to pay down. I am normally very confident, but this has taken from the thing that has always kept me strong — my wife. I know what I want, and it is her, but her actions make me think I am no longer enough. I Watch marriage not dating ep 3 eng sub want to add a post script to my original response.

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Infidelity is not necessarily the end of a marriage. While it is a serious blow, it doesn't have to be mortal. However, the conditions that are required to rebuild a marriage are very specific. I won't go onto it here but from you write I can tell you that your wife is nowhere near ready.

In the meantime, I suggest counselling for you only. GPs have access to Medicare funded sessions with a psychologist. Try and find one that has extensive Shailene woodley and ken baumann dating in marital issues, especially infidelity.

They should be able to help you see the big picture more clearly. Finally, millions of people including me have been in your shoes.

Your session is about to expire!

We all survived and so will you. Stay healthy, eat well, get plenty of exercise and see your GP as soon as possible. Thanks for your reply. Your Christian views on dating really got me thinking and a few tears. I realise now that some of what she said — feeling jealous of my friends in the past, recently not feeling desirable and the affair not being planned — are her excusing her behaviour. Appreciate everything you said.

I might not feel better yet but I am thinking a little better. Thanks for your reply and suggestion. Teen fuck buddies in Caloundra GP is your gateway to the Medicare Psychologist.